“This is the very ecstasy of love,
Whose violent property fordoes itself
And leads the will to desperate undertakings
As oft as any passion under heaven
That does afflict our natures.”
― Shakespeare, Hamlet
I believe well-being is a concept influenced by many happenings of society. Since my interest has always been organizational psychology, my focus has also been well-being at the workplace. Although my blog posts usually focus on personality development and traits, I find it compelling to address an issue that has been at the back of my mind. I find it hard to ignore it since I am concerned about the well-being of people who are working from home with abusive partners.
COVID-19 has changed the concept of the workplace. The workplace is your home now. Your ‘colleagues’ are your family members. Well-being at the workplace is getting increasingly difficult for workers who used the workplace to get away from home. The workplace was seen as sanctuaries by these people as it protected them from abusive relationships. We are seeing spouses who work from home under unchartered waters. Some are seeing their partners become abusive and some are seeing an increase in the already abusive behavior in their partner. Intimate partner violence is on the rise since the outbreak of the pandemic. If you are happy in your relationship you know it. If you are confused into thinking you are happy by your partner, please take a moment and check on your relationship.
I would like to give an insight into trauma bonding. If you are living with someone who abuses you and throws sprinkles of ‘love’ at you, it is possible that you may associate the abuse with that sprinkle of ‘love’. Helpless victims justify their partner’s behavior by mistaking this for care and diminishes their abusive behavior. Some victims feel so deserted that they succumb to praising their abusive partners since they feel they do not have a choice.
If you feel you are in an abusive relationship or feel extremely confused in a relationship, I would highly recommend having a safety plan:
- Always have your cell phone by your side.
- Have the numbers of shelters and their addresses.
- Communicate with someone about your issues.
- Have a code language with your family or friends for an emergency situation.
- Work on your independence by taking small steps towards it.
If you feel working from home has created a toll on your life and you find it hard to function because of lack of motivation, resources or any other reason, I would highly recommend looking into your emotional intelligence and being aware of what is triggering negative emotions in you and what immediate action will help take control of the emotions. If you feel you need to talk to someone about your current situation, I am happy to listen. We can collaboratively come up with alternatives and replacement behavior for your issues.
Hamna Siddique is a coach specializing in life and business mindset coaching.
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