Hamna Siddique - Executive and Leadership Coaching

What causes fear of success and how do you overcome it?

“Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.” — Barack Obama

One of the many things that I learned from my clients since I started coaching is about the concept of fear for success. It all started with questions from my clients,

“What if my family sees what I am doing on social media?”

“What if my friends come to know about my business and judge me?”

“What if this actually takes off?”

“I don’t think I am ready for such a huge change in my life!”

The above questions are from some of my clients who in hindsight did not know they feared success. I have learned to listen with a different cognizance and understand where the client is coming from, not just what they were saying. The above questions do not exhibit fear of success itself but the consequence of success. The fear of how these clients will be perceived by their friends and family, the fear of not being on the same wavelength as their loved ones, maybe even the fear of losing some of these loved ones because of a change in their personality.

What causes fear of success?

Fear can come from many things including parental influences. It can be internalized due to lack of a parent in the household, due to a father being highly cynical of the child, an overcontrolling mother who likes to make every single decision for the child even into their adult lives can all be causes for not pursuing success and a growth mindset.

I have been obsessed with Freud’s psychoanalytic theory of personality which talks about the idea that we as humans hide away our unpleasant experience as a child that may masquerade into our adulthood as unpleasant thoughts and emotions. This may affect our ability to face others in the real world. Some may find it hard to attend fancy work dinners, some may find it difficult to approach and profess their love, some fear that others will find out about their lack of confidence.

Perfectionism is another cause of fear of success. A perfectionist is usually a high goal achiever. If a perfectionist feels the goal is not attainable, they would choose to avoid the goal rather than pursue it due to fear of failing. It is important for them to take small steps to achieve the goal to reduce the fear of failing.

Disbelievers are people who believe they do not fear anything or they do not need help. They are probably the most skeptical of the lot who are adamant about the idea that something is not possible and hence an idea should not be pursued. This group of people will benefit highly from coaching even though it is a rare occurrence that they accept the idea of coaching. They are usually pushed to coaching by their spouse or superior.

The steps in overcoming fear of success:

Change is not easy. Personal development sometimes comes at the price of losing your old friends who do not share your mindset and values. When people decide on a change in their life, they usually have to get out of their comfort zone into an extremely frightening and startling state of affairs. This is a time when they get affected by people’s opinions and thoughts. It is also important to understand that being a beginner at this newfound change, people may take advantage, which is why it is important to pick your players wisely. Over time, you will realize your desire for what matters and gravitate towards it. But what is important is to keep going even when the path seems bleak. When I started my journey as an entrepreneur, I had reservations and qualms about the success of my coaching practice. The one thing that kept me going was my immense passion for helping people through coaching, writing, and the knowledge I had acquired because of my passion through reading and research.

The learning zone succeeds the fear zone. This does not mean your fear completely disappears. The learning zone comes with new challenges and problems. Over time, you will realize that no matter how much skill and training you have acquired, the real-life challenges are unique to each individual and the solutions to these problems are also inimitable to those challenges our peers may have faced. It is imperative that you navigate your classroom training and learning to adapt to the real world. You will also learn that the journey towards success has its ups and downs and hence you may experience an emotional roller coaster ride.

The passion and love for your goal make the journey so much easier. Your goal is unique to you and hence only you can feel the immense fire inside you. It may be disappointing at times to feel that others in your life do not feel the same enlightenment. Once we have dominated this path through perseverance and grit, your life purpose is clearer and you find it easier to conquer the objectives that you set to achieve. You will have solid set goals and will be in pursuit of living your dream lives. Retraining your brain to be aware of your unconscious thoughts and feelings is not easy and one may need to get professional help to achieve this. Avoidance is a dangerous thing that can get in the way of your success if you have issues that need to be sorted out. Pretending that everything is fine and going on about your lives, may not be a good solution to your problems.

If you can resonate with any of the information said above, please do not suffer in silence with it. Please get help. If you feel you would like to learn more about yourself or improve your personal and professional life, please book an intro session with me. I look forward to helping with your personality development and get you the success you need in your personal and professional life.

Hamna Siddique is a career and leadership coach focusing on confidence and personal development.

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You will learn a lot about yourself and how you work around people. Your newfound awareness will help increase self-expression that will help you get noticed by others.

Not sure coaching is for you, sign up for the Emotional Intelligence assessment 2.0

Where can physicians go for help?

“In the two decades since starting at medical school, I have never heard the word ‘identity’ spoken. Grand rounds, the very heartbeat of medical learning, are not a place for philosophical musings or profound emotional questions. Diagnostic labels gathered there speak more to the patient and less to the person. We talk about loss of blood and loss of lung function but we do not contemplate the loss of person and the loss of self.”
― Jules Montague, Lost and Found: Memory, Identity and Who We Become When We’re No Longer Ourselves.

Being married to a physician, who is also a son of a physician; having helped him transition to private practice, and being around physicians as close friends for years, I have learned a lot about them. I understand the magnitude of stress and burnout they face in their professional and personal lives. Looking back through our lives, many of us will remember at least one moment when we experienced their healing touch.

But where do doctors go when they need emotional or professional support? After an exhaustive search on how and where physicians can get help, I was a little surprised as to how little resources there are for physicians struggling with stress, anxiety, and/or burnout. I realize that physicians often choose not to get help for their emotional problems or challenges with their personal and professional lives. Physician healing thyself seems to be a popular theme and self-help apparently, is truly the best help for these professionals. Despite having good healthcare insurance and the knowledge to access it, they often put their physical and emotional needs on the backburner, always prioritizing the needs of their patients and families above their own. I have many friends who are physicians who have barely done an annual physical. This precedence for patient well-being may even sabotage their emotional well-being.

There are several factors that make a physician aground in today’s world. An exhaustive need for comprehensive record-keeping and administrative work superimposed on ever-increasing numbers of patient encounters and procedures push the physician to the limits. HIPAA compliance and patient satisfaction are another significant causes of stress. In this digital age, the stress of a patient adversely reviewing their practice online can have substantial negative effects. All these factors may be discordant with their “why” of being a physician who took an oath to save lives and make a positive impact in the world. It is probably heart-breaking for some who feel they are being dragged into this morass of revenue generation and bureaucracy, overlooking the raison d’être of why they started this journey in the first place.

The notion that physicians must be the experts and the end-all leads to a self-sabotaging culture. Physicians are simply humans who can experience self-doubt, anxiety, depression, burnout, and may struggle to juggle their personal and professional lives. It is unreasonable to expect them to live a seamless, whole life without predicaments. The challenges of the American healthcare system have led to criticism of physicians and their integrity. They are not seen as protagonists as in years past, especially if the patients had an unpleasant experience with the healthcare system during their time of need or illness.

On many occasions during this pandemic, I have been contacted by physicians pouring their hearts out about their struggles. I have learned through research and networking with my peers that physicians are not a regular clientele for many. I am still perplexed as to the cause of this hesitation among physicians to get help and follow through with getting help. I have had senior physicians and surgeons as well as residents in training who are lacking motivation and having self-doubts about their choice of profession or struggling to cope with their demanding residency program requirements. Perceived lack of time is a common excuse although research clearly shows that this may not be the case.

How can I help physicians? I can help rekindle the fire you once had for your profession. If you are a resident, I understand how demanding the program usually is. I can help you critically analyze your needs and enhance your performance acquiring the skills to cope and exceed the demands of your program.

If you are an established attending physician, I can help you prioritize your management decision(s), optimize time management, and handling your emotional needs better. I can help create better relationships with your physician and non-physician colleagues. I can help improve your rapport with your technical staff, administration, and nurses to help function smoothly. We, as humans, have blind spots where we do not see our failings and flaws, but we know how dangerous blind spots can be and how they can affect our goal of reaching our destination. We must evolve as humans and being obstinate in your ways and conduct can be a hindrance to your development.

The first step towards your personal development is acceptance. Accepting the fact that everyone needs help at different points in life and that we do not have all the answers to all our problems. Accepting that we all have self-doubts, moments of fear, and sometimes, just simply bad days. Coaching is not as time-consuming as most people think. Even as little as two 45-minute sessions a month can bring amazing results on how you manage your stress and live a happier, more balanced life. My coaching sessions are tailor-made to fit professionals who are busy, and I offer flexible sessions to work around your schedules.

I would suggest all physicians to consider prioritizing their emotional and physical health and get back to your “why”.

I am happy to help. All you have to do is reach out and commit. As the saying goes, the graveyard is everyman’s resting place, isn’t it wise to live your life to the fullest before we rest, even if you are a physician?

Hamna Siddique is a career and leadership coach focusing on confidence and personal development.

You will learn a lot about yourself and how you work around people. Your newfound awareness will help increase self-expression that will help you get noticed by others.

Not sure coaching is for you, sign up for the Emotional Intelligence assessment 2.0

“I feel ashamed of my past” How to take control of shame from the past?

“The butterfly does not look back at the caterpillar in shame, just as you should not look back at your past in shame. Your past was part of your transformation.” – Anthony Gucciardi

Shame from the past is a burden that some carry their whole lives. Shame is a sort of self-loathing that can affect self-confidence. Considered by many psychologists as a secondary emotion that is triggered by or on par with sadness and disgust, shame can be a hindrance to success or self-worth. People who sense this emotion feel they deserve to feel this way, which in a way, makes it a dangerous entity.

A few ways that shame from the past can affect people’s lives are:

People hide the cause of their shame from their friends and family. Sometimes, shame is so personal that even a significant other may not know the existence of the shame.
Hiding these feelings can be painful and embarrassing.
This can also lead to avoidance of the particular situation or task associated with shame.
Some even have physical symptoms associated with shame
The low self-esteem associated with shame can bring a person’s confidence down.

Since shame is so unique to each individual, each person experiences shame for various reasons. I have listed down a few reasons that I am aware of through my coaching training that people experience shame:

A person’s appearance sometimes is a huge factor that can cause shame. If someone was overweight/underweight in the past, it can contribute to shame sometimes even if the person is healthy now.
Mental illnesses such as depression and anxiety are still stigmatized in today’s society and people are secretive sometimes about their past visits to counselors or psychiatrists due to fear of being judged by friends and family.
Job and low income are also huge factors that cause shame for some.
Sexual orientation and sexual partner preference for some is other causes for apprehension and fear that can lead to hiding someone’s past.
Alcoholism and drug abuse can create a sense of extreme embarrassment.
Losing one’s spirituality in the hassle of life and work.

Some of the drawbacks of experiencing shame from the past that can affect success in personal and professional lives are:

Low self-esteem and confidence can lead to fear of standing up for yourself in front of your partner or in an office environment.
The guilt of hiding the trauma or pain in front of your loved ones.
Being defensive of your actions even when you know it is wrong.
A feeling of carrying this emotional baggage everywhere that can feel like a burden.

Here are a few ways you can help yourself by taking control of your shame from the past:

Identify the biggest shame from your past
Be aware of the physical and emotional symptoms you experience when you think about it.
Why is this a cause of shame in your life?
What actions can you pursue to turn this around into a life experience?
How can you convert it into a catalyst for a better future?
What can you tell yourself when this appears in your mind?
What actions can you take to block this thought?

If you can resonate with any of the information said above, please do not suffer in silence with it. Please get help. If you feel you would like to learn more about yourself or improve your personal and professional life, please book an intro session with me. I look forward to helping with your personality development and getting you the success you need in your personal and professional life.

Hamna Siddique is a career and leadership coach focusing on confidence and personal development.

You will learn a lot about yourself and how you work around people. Your newfound awareness will help increase self-expression which will help you get noticed by others.

Not sure coaching is for you, sign up for the Emotional Intelligence assessment 2.0

How to Overcome Fear and Lack of confidence

“Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more so that we may fear less.” – Marie Curie

A client once told me that she has wasted her entire life because of a lack of confidence to do anything and now she regrets it. She would like to go back and change her life. Sadly, we, as humans do not possess a time machine to go back in time. Only if we did!

One half of me wants to go back and undo all the mistakes that I made. One half of me wants to embrace all the mistakes and call it my life experience, my memento, and rank myself as the ultimate expert of those mistakes. Owning these mistakes makes me less fearful of them. They give me the confidence to say “Yes, been there, done that”! Yes, I like this latter half of me that has embraced her mistakes. I have decided I won’t run from them anymore. Avoiding has not got me anywhere in life and it will not in the future. So, what can I do?

What we can do is change how we live our lives and create a better future for us. We do not have to live how we have always lived or how we have been told to live by the generations that lived before us. Each of us has various life experiences and what we gather and divulge from it is unique to us. If we did what every other person did, we lose out identity and become a mere copy of someone else. We are all born with unique strengths and assets that we must use to bring value to our own lives and that of others:

Although fear is a very natural entity, fear can arise from a lack of confidence. It is how we conquer this fear that makes us valiant as a person. Avoiding tasks due to fear can affect our lives adversely. If you have been a person avoiding risks due to fear, it is worthwhile taking small steps towards your goal. How we make our goals, and challenges are actuated by the confidence level we possess. Our confidence and self-efficacy are determined by various factors in our lives. If you feel your confidence is low and you practice risk aversion, it is a good idea to look at various factors that may be causing it.

Genes and culture: yes, let us blame our parents! Studies show that our genetic makeup has a lot to do with the chemicals that boost our confidence in the brain. Confidence can be inherited from our parents but that is not to say we cannot change the way we think and feel and learn how to set goals. You may need some intervention but it is possible. Certain cultures also value certain behavior which can affect the confidence of an individual.
Being a minority: Being a minority can affect your confidence, be it your gender, race, or even sexual orientation. Just like women worry about how they will be perceived in an office meeting setting, individuals from other minorities who have been discriminated against through institutional racism or otherwise can affect the level of confidence.
Abuse and bullying: Abuse while growing up from parents or other individuals can make a difference to your confidence level. Childhood bullying can also lead to low confidence. Sometimes children are bullied for their looks, lack of knowledge in certain disciplines, etc.
Mindset: Having certain thoughts in your head about your incompetency and inadequacy can lead to a lower level of confidence. If you feel your mind plays tricks on you and this may be affecting your life, it is imperative that you seek help.
Social Media: As much as I love social media and use it to reach people to make an impact in people’s lives, it is also a huge contributor to low self-confidence. Some can feel a sense of lacking being on social media because of the glorified posts of others. People begin to believe in the glorified ‘perfect lives’ posted on social media by others and become unhappy about their own quailed life.

If you feel you would like to learn more about yourself or improve your personal and professional life, please book an intro session with me. I look forward to helping with your personality development and get you the success you need in your personal and professional life.

Hamna Siddique is a career and leadership coach focusing on confidence and personal development.

You will learn a lot about yourself and how you work around people. Your newfound awareness will help increase self-expression that will help you get noticed by others.

Not sure coaching is for you, sign up for the Emotional Intelligence assessment 2.0

Finding Purpose in Life through Coaching

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” Eleanor Roosevelt

Elanor Roosevelt could not have said it better. Dreams are what creates reality for some of us. My coaching and blogging career is an outcome of a dream that I dared to dream in spite of the fear of failure and disappointment.

The geniuses Einstein and Newton are said to have been daydreamers. They allowed their minds to wander in between their exploration. Studies show that taking adequate elaborate breaks and coming back to more complex tasks help in making the tasks easier. Allowing yourself to these much-needed breaks improved productivity by about 40%. Many leaders have come up with efficient ideas while engaging in other activities that are not directly linked to their work.

Needless to say, we are in the midst of a pandemic and in very trying times but we all have been given these wonderful lives that we must live. We could choose to live in fear and desperation or thrive in the lives that we have. Some of us who have been spinning in the same wheel of life could use this time to take a step back and simply dream about a life that we aspire to live.

These are a few ways we can find a purpose in life:

Prioritize: Taking a step back from the hustle of life will help us refocus on what our priorities are in life and pivot our lives accordingly. Explore the true meaning of your life. If today was the last day on Earth, what would be some of the most important things to you? Will it be your spirituality, your family, friends, education, or your career? Or is there something else that is burning inside of you?

Heal: Healing your old wound is important in moving forward to achieve a purpose in life. If you have old wounds that you have ignored, they need to be addressed. It is only a matter of time when an incident or a person can trigger this wound and pull you back from your success journey.

Surround yourself with cheerleaders: You may have a hundred friends but if they do not find happiness in your success and bring you down, they may be obstacles to your life purpose. It is important to ask yourself why are you friends with this person? Do they possess the ethics and values that you desire in a friend? If this intimidates you, do not worry, you will find your tribe during the course of finding your life purpose.

Helping people through your life purpose: A life purpose only has true meaning if and when people can benefit from you. What can you achieve in life? Does achieving this purpose create room for altruistic behavior? Does it create more meaning in your life?

Your secret power: What is your secret power? What do others see in you? It is something that makes you unique. My secret power, as I realized a few years back has been keeping others’ secrets. People have come to me even before I was a coach with their issues and pain. I have used this secret power to build my career.

Mindset Magic: If you follow my blog, you will know that I use these two words regularly. If you are not self-aware of what you are trying to achieve and do not possess the right mindset to achieve it due to various blocks that you may have in your lives, it is important to work on your mindset.

If you feel you would like to learn more about yourself or be more aware of your feelings to find your purpose in life, please book an intro session with me. I look forward to helping with your personality development and get you the success you need in your personal and professional life.

Hamna Siddique is a career and leadership coach focusing on confidence and personal development.

You will learn a lot about yourself and how you work around people. Your newfound awareness will help increase self-expression that will help you get noticed by others.

Not sure coaching is for you, sign up for the Emotional Intelligence assessment 2.0

How to Overcome Fear and Resistance to Change

“Change is never painful. Only the resistance to change is painful.” – The Buddha.

Resistance to change is an issue that we face as humans on an individual level and at an organizational level. Resistance to change can be seen in the form of procrastination, hostility, frustration, and can affect our success in the long run. We, as humans also make a number of excuses for our resistance such as “this is how I have always been” or “I like it that way” or even “my family has always done it this way”. Here are a few reasons why people show resistance to change and how you can navigate your way around resistance to change:

Lack of awareness: If you are unaware of the need for change, and has created a norm or a particular way of doing things, it is likely that you will resist change. Hence, it is important that people are self – aware of their personality and their behavior patterns.

Uncertainty: Uncertainty is a huge cause of resistance to change as people are afraid of the unknown factor in the future. People may hesitate to make a change in their lives if they fear the unknown. Change is only made in lives when we are forced or if continuing to live the same way seems impossible or a threat to us. It is wise to do your research if you fear the unknown and would like to make a change in your life.

Lack of skill and knowledge: Sometimes lack of skill, knowledge and experience can create fear in the minds of individuals who are resistant to change. This is a genuine fear and, in such cases, it is best to get the help of an expert.

Belief system: Some believe the way they do things is the best and right way to do. Even if things are not going right, unless there is an intervention, they may not change what they believe in. Again, only a professional can give an insight into the belief system and manifest a change, if needed.

Routines: We love our routines and would not like anything that disrupts it. It takes a lot of effort to change these routines but with a little motivation and endurance, it is possible.

If you feel you would like to learn more about yourself or be more aware of your feelings to improve your personal and professional life, please book an intro session with me. I look forward to helping with your personality development and get you the success you need in your personal and professional life.

Hamna Siddique is a career and leadership coach focusing on confidence and personal development.

How to cope with stress from a big change?

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” ― Leo Tolstoy

Change or die was a motto I lived by during Grad school days and ever since. Any change was not easy for me but the discipline I chose enforced me to change my ways for the better. It is a fact that we cannot keep doing what we have always been doing. We live in such a world that if we do not embrace change, in our personal and professional lives, we may not succeed. No wonder, change management is a huge part of businesses these days. Change management is an organized and planned approach to support people through change. Change Management can happen at an individual level, on a project, and on an organizational level. It can be a necessity because of factors that we cannot control or can simply be a preparatory step towards development. I would like to focus on change at an individual level here.

Broadly speaking, change requires three steps: Preparing for change, managing the change, and reinforcing the change.

From my own experience, reinforcing change was the hardest. Here are a few things I have discovered in coping with an environmental change:

Shock: Surprise and shock are inevitable when trying to enforce a change, whether it is a sudden need of the time such as the pandemic COVID-19, we are experiencing now or a preventive step taken deliberately towards achieving success. Uncertainty is a huge cause of confusion and makes decision-making difficult. Therefore, it is important to step back and fully understand the situation before making any important decisions.

Emotional surge: It is not uncommon for people to have an emotional surge or an outpour during change. The change caused by the pandemic has created a huge emotional outpour among individuals. It is important to be self- aware of these emotions, what causes it, when and where it arises from, so we can manage it better. It is also important to find an outlet to vent your emotions because suppressing your emotions may do more harm than good.

Embracing change: This is the stage where we begin to embrace change. We show reluctance and hesitation but understand that it is needed and take a step closer to the future. Our minds may have mixed emotions on the new acceptance of this change. This stage may be a slow process for many of us.

Acceptance to the new life: This is the final stage where we fully come to terms with the new life. But we also try to bring as much as our past into this life and look for manifestations where we can sprinkle our previous habits into the new life.

If you feel you would like to discuss issues you have had embracing a change, and is worried about the effects and aftermath of it, and would like to discuss your personal or professional life through coaching sessions, I am happy to provide an intro session to discuss your needs. You can schedule an appointment through my website anytime.

Hamna Siddique is a career and leadership coach focusing on confidence and personal development.

You will learn a lot about yourself and how you work around people. Your newfound awareness will help increase self-expression that will help you get noticed by others.

Not sure coaching is for you, sign up for the Emotional Intelligence assessment 2.0

How to Attain a Magical Growth Mindset?

“Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.”— Abraham Lincoln

Many of my blog posts have mentioned mindset in multiple places. Mindset is magic! Our mindset helps make a lot of decisions for us but the decisions we make are determined by the type of mindset. Mindset is categorized into two – fixed mindset and growth mindset.

Individuals with a fixed mindset rarely believe in change. They believe their personality, habits, and behavior patterns are innate and do not work much on their personality development. These individuals are also very watchful of others judging them for their behavior. Whereas individuals with a growth mindset always embrace change and believe in developing their skills and knowledge through education and hard work. Just like the Stanford marshmallow experiment on gratification, mindset experiment was tested on children.

Research on neuroscience has shown that our brain’s plasticity allows an increase of neural growth depending on our lifestyle – our actions, food habits, sleep pattern, and our life strategies in general. A more productive lifestyle with a positive and growth mindset leads to increased motivation and achievements in life. Mindset can also be fluid. A group can attract a certain type of mindset and that particular mindset can become the identity of the group. For example, if a person among a group of friends’ ventures into various business ideas different from the norm and is determined to find success in spite of many failures, they are a good example of a growth mindset. Here are a few ways to achieve a growth mindset:

Being self-aware: It is important to be aware of what your mind is telling you about your achievements. If your thoughts are negative and not encouraging, it is important to evaluate those thoughts. It is a good idea to look back at how you have handled some difficult situations in the past.

Instigating change: Once the thoughts are verified, the next step towards a growth mindset would be instigating change by changing your old methods and strategies. For example, go the extra mile and do something you thought you could never do and you may be surprised by how good you are at it and resent putting it off for this long.

Question your old methods: Change is hard for everyone and so questioning an age-old habit or a family belief is even harder. But if we change the way we talk about ourselves, it is likely that we may advance towards a growth mindset. For example, instead of saying “I am a loser” or “I have failed at this task” we say, “I am still trying to figure it out” or “I have not found an answer yet but I soon hope to” will help a lot in keeping our determinism.

Hamna Siddique is a career and leadership coach focusing on confidence and personal development.

You will learn a lot about yourself and how you work around people. Your newfound awareness will help increase self-expression that will help you get noticed by others.

Not sure coaching is for you, sign up for the Emotional Intelligence assessment 2.0

How can we use failure to attain success?

“Don’t spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door.” ― Coco Chanel

I find it amusing that the definition of failure is ‘lack of success’. We rarely succeed without failing, so I believe a more philosophical and ideological definition for failure should be a path to success. There is something stimulating about people who are successful in talking about their failures in the past. Their speeches have filled far too many commencement ceremonies. People crave these speeches as it does what it is meant to do…motivate, inspire.

Failure in our many ventures in life is a sign that there is another way to do it and yes by the time we discover the other ways, we may have used up a lot of our energy, time, and even resources, which may lead to disheartening. But the important thing to remember is that failure is the best experience life can give us. Ironically, you are the expert in this ‘failure’ and you could use that knowledge to educate yourself and others around you. Also, the theory of failure is very conceptual. What is a failure to one may not be a failure to the other. So, how can we use our failure to attain success?

As you may have heard before, failure must be embraced with both arms, no matter how hard it is. You may have put your heart and soul in your project but failure sometimes is inevitable. Certain external factors can also play a huge part as a reason for the failure of your project. It is also imperative that we not let our failure affect our mindset and motivation. There is nothing wrong with admitting to failure and accepting it as a stepping stone to success. Many leaders in organizations and also business owners find it disparaging to accept their failure. Accepting means admitting to failure and the blame associated with it. This is particularly difficult in the corporate world where leaders do not like to take the blame on themselves.

Simply put, failures can be categorized as preventable and non-preventable, which is why it is important to do thorough research into what the reasons for your failure are. Most importantly, it is a necessity for your sustainability that you draw a line when and where you have to revise your product or service, make the amendments needed, pivot it, and QUIT. Yes, you cannot keep doing what you do and fail forever. You must at some point step back from your project at one point and look at the bigger picture and quit before you lose more than you need to.

Failure is only ‘lack of success’ if you believe it to be, if not it can be a ‘path to success’!

If you feel you would like to explore a path that you have taken or would like to take and is unsure of the effects and would like to discuss your work through coaching sessions, I am happy to provide an intro session to discuss your needs.

Hamna Siddique is a career and leadership coach focusing on confidence and personal development.

You will learn a lot about yourself and how you work around people. Your newfound awareness will help increase self-expression that will help you get noticed by others.

Not sure coaching is for you, sign up for the Emotional Intelligence assessment 2.0

Why Men Struggle to Express their Emotions?

“The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions.” -Leonardo da Vinci

We have heard too often in recent times about the harmful and destructive language that we use for boys and men. Lately, we have seen a decline in these sayings but our attitude towards masculinity still remains outdated. We, humans, shed tears to protect our eyes and to show our emotions. We cry when we are upset and the act of crying acts as a painkiller, which is why we feel better after we cry. But sadly, men are told frequently growing up to “be strong” and “be a man” which leads to internalizing feelings and the inability to express themselves verbally and physically.

The inability to express feelings through words does not equate to a lack of feelings. Men feel pain. Men feel immense, deep pain that needs addressing but men may fail to display it at the right time. Men feel it is important to express their feelings and emotions in the right venue and time if they express their feelings at all. At times, the pain may come as physical symptoms such as stomach pain or headache. Some men bury themselves into their work so they can escape from the realities and pain of the world. Some have become so good at hiding their emotions that they do not even know how to comprehend their feelings.

At times, men who express their emotions are laughed at and perceived as lacking masculinity, which may lead to shutting themselves again. Buying into these stereotypes or gender norms can be further damaging and lead to loneliness and inner pain. While women enjoy venting to their female friends, men hesitate to open up to their male friends due to the fear of being perceived as weak. This is probably why men usually seek female counselors to discuss their issues if they seek help at all. Things are worse for men who have suffered domestic violence or sexual abuse because this means admitting to a weakness that is conflicting masculinity and manliness. The fear of being judged on opening about their feelings will lead to pushing the feelings aside. The emasculation of men who express love and compassion for loved ones is another consequence faced. In some societies, men who change diapers of their babies are criticized for doing so and men who express love to their spouses are disapproved by their families.

Women who are vulnerable are not criticized for being so whereas men who are vulnerable are disparaged and ridiculed which is probably why some men think twice before showing compassion and affection in public or exhibit their true emotions. Some cultures also expect men to showcase their virility through their body language and otherwise even if they prefer not to. All these expectations put a lot of pressure on men, confusing men on what is right and wrong.

Men need a place to show their emotions too. Although there has been a positive change in the way society sees men who express their emotions, we have a long way to go. This blog post was triggered by a number of male clients I spoke to who had never before spoken about their personal and professional issues before with anyone and was hesitant to do so. I also spoke to a few men who were genuinely surprised when asked about their feelings and inspiration in their workplace because feelings are not a place they associated to the workplace. Being aware of the feelings you experience at the workplace can help keep a check on your stress level.

What you perceive as a gigantic problem in your personal and professional life may not be as big as you think. All you need to do is seek help and you may find multiple ways to navigate around it. You may be surprised how trivial a problem can be when you get the right help.

If you feel you would like to learn more about yourself or be more aware of your feelings to improve your personal and professional life, please book a complimentary intro session with me. I look forward to helping with your personality development and get you the success you need in your personal and professional life.

Hamna Siddique is a career and leadership coach focusing on confidence and personal development.

You will learn a lot about yourself and how you work around people. Your newfound awareness will help increase self-expression that will help you get noticed by others.

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