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Don’t use words too big for the subject. Don’t say infinitely when you mean very; otherwise, you’ll have no word left when you want to talk about something really infinite. – C.S. Lewis

Most of my posts are prompted by conversations with my clients through coaching. The need to write about an issue is compelling when it begins to bother me for days. Lately, conversing with more analytical people expressed their desire to enhance their emotional intelligence and subsequently their soft skills. The truth is there is nothing ‘soft’ about soft skills.

These are skills that need to be learned and nourished throughout your lifetime.

In the midst of it all, my eye caught the quote above from C.S. Lewis. Being from the academic world, C.S. Lewis probably realized the importance of simple communication even in his time. A little bit of research on the genius revealed that he was a master when it came to communication. A very simple suggestion caught my attention; the responsibility of both the speaker and the listener! Who would have thought communication comes with responsibility! Lewis suggests that the speaker must convey the message with clarity and accuracy and the receiver must listen and interpret it accordingly. This exchange is crucial when it comes to communication.

A story that I came across while researching Lewis is that Lewis’ father was a poor communicator and once had gone through Lewis’ private notes without his permission, an action that could have easily been avoided if he had communicated with his son about the concerns he had. This act led to Lewis not trusting his father and meticulously clearing his pockets before he entered his home.

A great lesson that can be taken from Lewis’s story, is that many unwanted incidents that happen in organizations can be avoided with effective communication.

• Although many managerial roles are required to have a proper flow of communication if the meetings are not done effectively, it becomes a futile and uneconomical use of time.
• Most of us do not communicate for others to understand but for us to simply speak, we forget that the words we spoke must be useful in the sense that the addressee understands the message, even in an organizational setting.
• This means when we make presentations or have meetings the content must be easily understandable to the people it is intended for. The use of fancy language to impress the crowd must be avoided as let us be honest they will not be impressed if they do not understand.

What impact can effective communication have on the employees?

• Saves time and cost: Many organizations conduct meeting upon meetings but if the communication has not been effective, where there was responsibility by both parties to convey the message effectively and active listening by the listener, then the time used for this has been futile.
• Most organizations communicate to achieve their goal or action plan. Effective communication helps reach the goal faster through a better relationship between team members and monitoring misunderstanding of the message.
• Inclusiveness through effective communication also makes the employees feel engaged thus boosting morale and satisfaction.

Hamna Siddique is an Executive and leadership coach focusing on behavioral factors that influence success at work. Email: ha***********@go********.llc. |https://hamnasiddique.com| ©2021 Goldbridge Coaching LLC |All Rights Reserved|

Activating a new level of confidence or building leadership skills for a promotion in your organization does not have to be complicated or overwhelming. Sign up for this coaching program to improve your self-confidence and leadership skills.

confidence-and-leadership-coaching

You will learn a lot about yourself and how you work around people. Your newfound awareness will help increase self-expression that will help you get noticed by others.

Not sure coaching is for you, sign up for the Emotional Intelligence assessment 2.0

 

 

“A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves.” —Lao Tzu

There is an old saying that Leaders are born, but are they? Can leadership skills be learned? Yes, most definitely!

Although leadership skills include a multitude of tools and habits, the most desirable factor in a leader is humility. Many managers and directors in various organizations fail terribly in their roles because of poor leadership skills, even when they are good at technical skills. According to The Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) employee turnover due to bad company culture is estimated to be around $223 billion.

Organizations are jam-packed with leaders, some of whom may be doubtful about their leadership skills. This is a fear I have seen in many people since I started coaching. The most common question I am asked as a career and leadership coach is ‘How to be a good leader?’

Although a short and sweet question, the answer may not be so simple. What I have learned through coaching is that leadership is developed over time through self-awareness and social awareness, in other words, by increasing your Emotional Intelligence. Intensive individual coaching that ties the personality traits to the skills required in the particular can help in developing one’s leadership skills. We all know that managing people is one of the hardest jobs in the world. Learning more about your behavior makes leading people easier. The books that we read, the courses that we enroll in are all good tools that add value to this self-awareness.

Here are a few other attributes a leader would possess:

1. The greater good:
A leader will not seek immediate pleasure but foresee communal excellence and results in any situation.

2. The go-to person:
If you have been the go-to person professionally and even in your personal life, there is a chance that you are a good listener and provide empathy to the person seeking your advice.

3. Inspiration and a role model:
If you notice that people are in awe of your achievements and a source of guidance, then these are signs that you have strong leadership skills.

4. Standing your ground:
You stand your ground even in trying times. People around you notice your values and principles even if they may not address them. Repeated behavior pattern makes you be seen as a person of standards.

5. Fair and square:
A leader makes fair decisions on any matter. Your goal is achieved ethically and your decisions are morally right.

6. Show gratitude and respect:
As a leader, you show gratitude to your employees. For example, you may give them focused appraisal or appreciation for their efforts on a certain project instead of a vague ‘good job’.

7. Expert in the field:
A good leader in the organization is an expert in his field and shows a lot of passion in his work and proficiency in managing people.

Hamna Siddique is a career and leadership coach focusing on confidence and personal development. Email: ha***********@go********.llc. |https://hamnasiddique.com| ©2021 Goldbridge Coaching LLC |All Rights Reserved|

Activating a new level of confidence or building leadership skills for a promotion in your organization does not have to be complicated or overwhelming. Sign up for this coaching program to improve your self-confidence and leadership skills.

Confidence and Leadership Coaching

You will learn a lot about yourself and how you work around people. Your newfound awareness will help increase self-expression that will help you get noticed by others.

Not sure coaching is for you, sign up for the Emotional Intelligence assessment 2.0

“I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence.” ― Frederick Douglass

Self-confidence and self-esteem are two concepts that are used interchangeably but they are two different things.

A person with high self-confidence and low self-esteem may have experience performing the task multiple times that helped in building their self-confidence. They may also be good at performing various tasks pertaining to a project. On the contrary, a person with low self-confidence and high self-esteem will focus more on their personal ability to deliver their strengths even when placed in a team.

High self-confidence with low self-esteem

Self-confidence is easier to detect in a person because it is detected mostly by one’s outer appearance. For example, my client, John (not the real name) a Vice President of a company is very comfortable sharing his success and achievements on social media. He is happy to confidently commit to projects and deliver them successfully on time. He also gets the help of his team when needed without any hesitation. But he feels empty inside and not worth the life he has. His insecurities are shown by his constant need to please the people around him, especially his friends and relatives. He struggles to say No, even when he wants to because he worries it will result in the other person not wanting to spend time with him or valuing him anymore.

High self-esteem with low self-confidence

High self-esteem can usually be evaluated through assessments or coaching. I would like to give the example of another client here. My client, Simon (not the real name) a Physician has very healthy lifestyle habits. He is comfortable saying No when he feels like it. He bounces back from days that go bad with difficult patients. He accepts his limitations. He also appreciates the blessings in his life like his family, friends, house, etc. But he is not confident enough to take big risks in life. He is afraid he would go wrong if he would make big changes in his life. He tries to carry a heavy burden that could possibly be too much for him just because he is afraid to ask for help.

How people with low self-esteem behave in general?

The following are some of the symptoms that I have encountered in people:

• They work to a point of exhaustion to feel worthy and to avoid social gatherings and other engagements. Some choose to do too many social engagements to avoid their personal life and reality.
• Some are indecisive due to the lack of self-worth. They may not value their own opinion and ask others for even small decisions.
• They need frequent compliments from others but may often take the compliments in the wrong way.
• Jealousy is a result of a lack of self-esteem that may arise from growing up in a household with other siblings getting more attention.

How people with low self-confidence behave in general?

The following are some of the symptoms that I have encountered in people:

• They may not trust themselves much to do bigger tasks or take greater risks as they worry that they may go wrong. This could be due to a lack of experience in their field too.
• They may not be very flexible as they find it difficult to adapt to new situations and circumstances.
• They may continue to work in the same job/role for years even when they know it is time to look for a new role due to fear of change.
• They are afraid of committing to anything, sometimes even relationships.

A higher level of self-esteem and self-confidence can boost our chances of success in an organizational setting and life in general. This leads to better handling of difficult situations and better communication skills that yield higher productivity. After all, the better you feel about yourself, the less you feel the need to show off.

Hamna Siddique is a career and leadership coach focusing on confidence and personal development.

Email: ha***********@go********.llc. |https://hamnasiddique.com| ©2020 Goldbridge Coaching LLC |All Rights Reserved|

Activating a new level of confidence or building leadership skills for a promotion in your organization does not have to be complicated or overwhelming. Sign up for this coaching program to improve your self-confidence and leadership skills.

Confidence and Leadership Coaching

You will learn a lot about yourself and how you work around people. Your newfound awareness will help increase self-expression that will help you get noticed by others.

Not sure coaching is for you, sign up for the Emotional Intelligence assessment 2.0

When I tell people, I have a background in organizational psychology, they tell me “Oh so you are not a therapist, you don’t deal with people?” I then consider it my civic duty to remind them that organizations are made of people. It is the people that form an organization, its culture, values, communication pattern, and everything about it.

Emotional intelligence is a hot topic today and many organizations are embracing its importance. I have met a lot of people in the real and online world wanting to ‘increase’ their emotional intelligence. Before I say anything more, I would like to define emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is the ability to be aware of when you bring out your emotions and realize how your emotions affect others. A person with higher emotional intelligence in the overall score can recognize the feeling and perceptions of others that will help manage their emotions accordingly.

What is fascinating about emotional intelligence is that it can be modified unlike your IQ and don’t worry, increasing your EQ will not lower your IQ. Phew!

As a coach, I have stumbled upon this issue where people are good at their job and they get promoted to Directorial and VP level but fail to perform as effectively as a leader thereafter. This is when they are in the limelight of the CEOs and their employees. A person in this position can become vulnerable if their emotional intelligence is considerably low, even if their IQ is very high. If they have been using the left side of their brain, which is the logical and analytical side their whole life, then it is possible that the emotional intelligence score may be low and they are struggling in their job despite being promoted.

I have seen many articles online on how to increase your emotional intelligence. Whilst these are great resources, and there is nothing wrong per se with the information provided, it is difficult for a person who has none to little knowledge on EQ to act upon this information and be consistent. They will relapse to their old self because of a lack of self-awareness to modify their personality. Needless to say, increasing your composite scales of EQ may not always be a good idea. It all depends on your personality traits, what you do for a living, and numerous other factors that constitute you as a person. If the materials you read online and tests you take are not statistically valid and reliable without anyone to interpret your data, it may lead to confusion and sheer misperception.

Why should we care about our EQ?   

Let’s say Nancy (not real name) has a high IQ but barely waits for her turn to speak, outbursts her feelings and opinions instead of listening for clarity in the conversation. She has an urge to react instead of responding gently to a conflict. What is important for her is that her opinion is put out for people. This shows a lack of self-awareness on how she is behaving in a social setting and a severe blind spot in her self-awareness. People who converse with her may avoid her in meetings and other social settings. Some may praise her tremendously so she avoids conflict with them. Nancy’s lack of self-awareness may lead to her falling for these fake praises. But if we look at this scenario from Nancy’s perspective, she is unaware that she is doing anything wrong and may even wonder at times why people avoid her.

Nancy is not alone. Many white-collared professionals in their workplace setting may not understand how to lead a team or why their team members do not respect their leadership. Many of us have blind spots that we could fine-tune. Nancy’s is an example of low self-awareness. Others may have a low or very high flexibility that has affects their professional and personal life. I have spoken to many clients in the corporate setting who came to me not knowing how to respond to people’s comments or behavior. Waiting too long with issues at the workplace and your lack of enthusiasm to get professional help can lead to making things harder than it is or you just losing everything that you have worked hard for.

People hesitate to get help for various reasons. But not reaching out for help at the right time can have consequences on your leadership, team impact, and overall presence in the workplace. People who have a vision know when to invest in themselves wisely.

Hamna Siddique is a career and leadership coach focusing on confidence and personal development.

Email: ha***********@go********.llc. |https://hamnasiddique.com| ©2020 Goldbridge Coaching LLC |All Rights Reserved|

Activating a new level of confidence or building leadership skills for a promotion in your organization does not have to be complicated or overwhelming. Sign up for this coaching program to improve your self-confidence and leadership skills.

Confidence and Leadership Coaching

You will learn a lot about yourself and how you work around people. Your newfound awareness will help increase self-expression that will help you get noticed by others.

Not sure coaching is for you, sign up for the Emotional Intelligence assessment 2.0

As a coach, I am asked the question “How to be a good leader?” far too many times. I wish there was a ‘one size fits all’ answer to this question. The reality is that leadership is not an entity one can grow into overnight. So, what is the best approach to developing leadership skills?

There is an old notion in most people’s minds that a leader is always authoritative, demanding, and imposing with a lot of charisma sprinkling around them. Self-esteem and self-confidence were rated highly in the past as a requirement of a true leader. The truth is that the latest research shows otherwise. The most desirable factor in a leader is humility. A good leader is relatable, approachable, and a good role model.

So, let us examine how humility leads to good leadership.

Humility weakens the inflated view of people about themselves that can diversely affect the judgment or a decision as a leader. Overconfidence and a ‘know it all’ demeanor may not affect the quality of leadership initially but as time passes, the leadership will be questioned. Failure to correct oneself or change the way they think and the inability to listen to others before making a decision are all signs of low humility. A higher level of humility among members can encourage group discussions and create a dynamic work environment, where ego and self-worth do not come in the way of decision-making.

How are humility, confidence, and good leadership related?

A confident leader considers the viewpoints and opinions of others on a project or an issue at the workplace. This kind of confidence requires humility on the part of the leader. A leader whose performance is high is curious and is engaged in what their employees have to say. Latest research show that a leader’s knowledge is not questioned if the leader asks questions while engaging with the employees. But on the other hand, if the leader creates an illusion of knowledge and technical skill, employees question their authenticity.

But how easy is it for employees to express themselves if the leaders ask for their opinion?

This is only possible if the leaders have created an environment of trust and a safe space. The employee will only like the spotlight if they feel valued and what they have to say matters to the leaders. If the attention they receive creates gigantic fear and embarrassment, they would rather remain quiet. A good leader realizes that it is important for the team to feel a sense of belonging and what they contribute to the team matters. The mindset of a good leader is very crucial. High-performance leaders will be happy to learn from their past mistakes and are also good problem solvers. A desire to learn from others and find solutions to problems through this knowledge is only possible if leaders practice humility in their lives.

Some of the leaders who we admire today or have admired in the past are usually high in their humility. They are happy to give their attention to others and learn things that they had no knowledge of. They listen and engage in conversations with an unbiased approach that leads to better decision-making.

If you would like to learn more about your strengths and cultivate your leadership skills or any particular skill that you feel you could improve on, it is best to reach out to a professional and make the best use of their expertise rather than suffer in silence. You have a better chance at success if you reach out for help and make changes rather than do nothing at all.

Hamna Siddique is a career and leadership coach focusing on confidence and personal development.

Email: ha***********@go********.llc. |https://hamnasiddique.com| ©2020 Goldbridge Coaching LLC |All Rights Reserved|

Activating a new level of confidence or building leadership skills for a promotion in your organization does not have to be complicated or overwhelming. Sign up for this coaching program to improve your self-confidence and leadership skills.

Confidence and Leadership Coaching

You will learn a lot about yourself and how you work around people. Your newfound awareness will help increase self-expression that will help you get noticed by others.

Not sure coaching is for you, sign up for the Emotional Intelligence assessment 2.0

 

“I have written 11 books, but each time I think, ‘Uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.” — Maya Angelou

My posts are usually inspired by the coaching sessions I have with clients or moments in my life that compels me to stop, think, and analyze. Being a career and mindset coach, I have coached corporate employees, business owners, or leaders in their own right who are well educated and fairly successful in their field.

 But a few weeks back, I saw a pattern in my clients that made me halt and pause for a few seconds. Some of the things that my clients told me prompted this post.

 “What if people find out I am educated but have no clue what I am doing?”

 “I have a Ph.D. but really don’t think I have enough knowledge.”

 “I may look like I know stuff, but I really am not that confident.”

 “I am not as educated and I only have years of experience, that makes me feel vulnerable in front of my colleagues.”

 You can probably guess where I am going with this. Yes, it is imposter syndrome. If Albert Einstein, Maya Angelou, and the like can feel like a swindler because of their success and the recognition they received because of their success, then so can many of us. Imposter syndrome makes a person feel like a fraud even when they have proven to be high achievers. It worsens if the people around you induce it by questioning your work or knowledge. The moment of vulnerability can trigger more self-doubt and lead to a lack of confidence that can affect the way you behave in a work environment.

 A client of mine, let us call her Rose, a director-level employee with a Master’s degree in a corporate office, would feel petrified when she is questioned about her work or any project she is on, especially if her work is altered by her boss. She would think she is caught red-handed as a fraud. She would assume she is put on the spot because of her lack of knowledge and experience. Rose was relieved to know that this feeling has a name and that many feel the same way.

 The simple truth is we will never have a comprehensive knowledge of any discipline. We, humans, evolve, and learn. We must train our minds to learn and unlearn. It is also true that we are naturally good at some things. For me, it is consulting and coaching. I have always been contacted many times in my life, way before I have been a coach by my friends when they were feeling down or had a dilemma they needed to discuss.

I started my entrepreneurship with immense apprehension, even after my psychology training and coaching certification. It took me a while to realize that coaching comes naturally for me because I had it in me all the time. I undervalued my ‘gift’ initially. I am using minimal energy and effort to do this job because this is easier for me to execute. It goes back to the law of parsimony, also known as Occam’s razor, that states that the simplest form of explanation must be executed as opposed to a complex form.

 Subsequently, in my client Rose’s case, if her boss alters her work, isn’t it best to use the simplest explanation possible which could be that a change was needed to fit the project goals better unless otherwise mentioned by her boss?

 Could we not eliminate all other possibilities such as…

 -Rose has less knowledge

 -Rose lacks experience

 -Rose lacks confidence

 -Rose is a fraud and the list goes on…

 Now, it is important to note that avoiding an issue that is dwelling in our minds is not the best solution to our problems. If Rose still feels like an imposter, it is important that she addresses it. The first step is to admit what it is called and why. The second would be to accept that this happens to the best of us including CEOs and Presidents.

 Next, stop and think about your proficiencies, achievements, and how you have successfully overcome situations like these in the past.

 What strategies did you implement?

 Which of your strengths were used?

 It is a fact that we may come across imposter syndrome in the future but it is important to acknowledge it for what it is – a syndrome. If you wait to be perfect in your knowledge and skills, you may never start. We increase our knowledge, skills, and experience along the way in our journey of personal growth.

 It is completely normal to experience doubts. What is important is to navigate these doubts and train your mind to reflect a positive thought by focusing on your area of expertise. The imposter feeling may linger around or may come and go but it is important to not let it control your life. It is helpful to get help from an expert to help you dig into these feelings and discover where this is coming from.

Hamna Siddique is a career and leadership coach focusing on confidence and personal development.

Email: ha***********@go********.llc. |https://hamnasiddique.com| ©2020 Goldbridge Coaching LLC |All Rights Reserved|

Activating a new level of confidence or building leadership skills for a promotion in your organization does not have to be complicated or overwhelming. Sign up for this coaching program to improve your self-confidence and leadership skills.

Confidence and Leadership Coaching

You will learn a lot about yourself and how you work around people. Your newfound awareness will help increase self-expression that will help you get noticed by others.

Not sure coaching is for you, sign up for the Emotional Intelligence assessment 2.0